Fixed Characters
 Let's keep this between you and us.
 by Alden



    I can't blink!       |    Why would I? I'm      | Your eyes are bleeding.
                \        |    trying to set a       |    |
 Have you tried  \       |    record here!          |    |     Whoah, really?
 Visine?         No!     |           \              |    |     Take a picture!
    |           /        |                          |              /
    0         0          |    0        0            |    0        0
   /|\       /|\         |   /|\      /|\           |   /|\      /|\
    |         |          |    |        |            |    |        |
   / \       / \         |   / \      / \           |   / \      / \
                                                     based on actual events
                                                     ok not really


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